Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Mind still wanders

I'm getting restless already
my mind is wandering, feeling uneasy.
Maybe Im just tired but I do find myself week after week, just waiting for time to pass by.
I spend so much time sitting in front of the computer once I get home. It relaxes me.
I listen to music, work on my photos, surf the net, can keep up with the Who's who in my life.

But I want to do something I'm proud of. I can teach, I know this..I want to make a difference though.

I was just imagining, daydreaming how amazing it'd be if I could just pick my things up..move to a poor country (I was thinking India in particular) and just live there volunteering and doing things that MEANT something..that was helping to change lives.

However it's impossible since I've still got over 25,000 USD in loans to pay off. I feel like a slave to the corporate systems. I really hope this Occupy Wall Street can make a difference. If I could have some loans forgiven or some kind of program to have htem forgiven..that would be amazing. I know many people who have already paid them would your dues..but honestly; if all people were selfish and jealous like this there would never be progress. We'd still be stuck..."I had to do it this way then so should you..what makes you so special." Progress does...    And what is RIGHT does...just because Universities charge and exorbitant amount and the government works with them to keep you indebted to them for years to come after you graduate and then once you finish those you are still paying on a house until you retire.  A neverending cycle that definately isn't right. How can we progress as a nation if we are indebted and chained, unable to think outside of the box or try something new because we are too busy paying things off.

Instead I go to work day in and day out. Teach english to make ends meet. But I get the feeling over half the students could care less...much like it was in Korea and probably many places.  I long for the day I can close my facebook account and people can come to my homepage to see how I'm doing or even better, write me a letter with pen and paper. Something I can actually feel,..touch.

I wonder if it's possible for me to do this. To kick the internet and still be happy. I was able to do it in Costa Rica..although I still had internet, it was only once a day or perhaps once every few days. However I did So much more and was so much happier.  If I didn't have it here I'd feel lost. I don't live next to a beach that I can walk out on and meet people.

Aye...the mind is wandering.

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