Saturday, December 31, 2011

2011: A Look Back

First of all I want to say Happy New Years to all of you.
Thank you for following my blog. I'm glad to have you and feel humbled by the viewership that's interested in my life and what I have to share.

This year can easily be called the Year of Change.

I started the year out finishing my chapter of life in Korea.
I was able to go back to the Philippines one more time before leaving the eastern hemisphere and enjoyed an amazing time in Palawan with Jinky. We've known each other since 2009 when I first visited the Philippines and have had a strong bond ever since.

Then a large part of the year was spent traveling by foot around the Black Sea. I was searching for myself on this trip. Trying to get over my Zahir. If you don't know what that is then read Paulo Coehlo's book Zahir.

I was finally able to find some peace and after 7 months of traveling through Turkey, Georgia, Ukraine, Poland, Czech Republic, Germany, Romania, and Bulgaria I finally found myself back in Istanbul and working as a teacher.

I had a bit of culture shock at this current job. It's a very conservative atmosphere here compared to the rest of Istanbul but I've managed and after a few bumps things are really looking up.

Now in the last few months my life has been increasingly better. Things are just falling into place for me.
I entered a few photography contests and had a photo selected to be exhibited at Taksim Metro for the start of 2012! On top of that, I decided to submit a story for a book that was looking for 111 meaningful travel stories and mine was selected to be published along with some photos to accompany the story.

Finally, I moved to the European side of Istanbul and my life attitude and life have seemingly took a 180. I was living on the Asian side and I was really just closing in on myself and not feeling the greatest. But in this new place here in Besiktas I feel so much more alive. I'm meeting people every day. I can see the city from a boat every morning as I sail across the Bosphorus to go to my job. Water.  It really does sustain life..and mentality :)

So this year I've had writing published, photos exhibited, a new job, a new look on life, and above all I'm feeling more free than ever.  I'm not longer allowing my student loans or many of life's pressures to pull me down. Of course sometimes I'm not always thankful and can be pessimistic but I'm glad I've got friends to help steer me towards the light and remind me of all that's great in this world and my life. Show me that I CAN make a difference and I AM making a difference.

I wonder what 2012 will bring?

Some things I have planned already are:

Publish a photography book
Make a DIY photo studio in my room.
Develop my photography to a higher quality through Joshua Sterrett Photography
Develop and start my own photography page.
Work on writing a book about my travels
See Spain
Enjoy life, all of it, even the little moments.
Make new friendships and relationships that last a lifetime.
Continue learning more about myself and further develop my inner self.

How about you? Do you have any goals or wishes for 2012?  How was your past year!  A year of change or a year of the same?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Paying It Forward

It doesn't have to be something big. Just whatever presents itself that you have the means to do.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Focalpress Monthly Photography Contest!

Focal Press Photography holds a monthly Photography Contest.

This months contest is all about FOOD!

Each month's winners are awarded with prizes and of course recognition.

Give it a go!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Finding the Path to the Hastanesı

Today was a day.
Like any other day I suppose.
You know, the type of day where you wake up to the alarm.
much like you did the day before and the one before that.
My eyes are heavy from the crusty sleep crumbs that built up over night and the exhaustion of the past week. It takes an effort to get out of bed. In fact I always find myself
going back into the bed and surrenduring myself to my covers' sweet embrace. I'm not quite ready to get up! And my sleepiness makes my willpower an easy victim to the needs of my sloth-like motivation. So I give in and dip my head back into my pillow only to wake up with 20 or so minutes left to be at work.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

It Happened to Me: I Told My Boyfriend I Was Born a Boy by Janet Mock

After reading this I couldn't help but to think back to some conversations I've had with some male friends after I had visited Thailand. There, in the land famous for it's beautiful transgender population, I heard many stories of men that had met a girl and later finding out that their fling/love/etc wasn't born the way they expected. A perplexing situation...but does it have to be?  

I was curious as to how other men would react if they found out somebody they were falling for was born as the same sex as they were.  

The first reaction:  Confusion, discomfort, betrayal, shock

These were the feelings that many (myself included) said they'd feel.
The question of, "how could they have not told me?!"  With the obvious answer being they didn't want to be seen or judged as a Transexual but as a person and does it really matter? That would be the persons history which has no relevance on the present but could be important later on if the relationship develops. 

The question of "Does this make me gay?" also came to mind. If the person was a guy before and I just slept with them. Does that make me gay? Bisexual?  This is where the confusion sets in for some. 

Here's a thing to consider: Transgender's feel they are born into the wrong body. They feel and generally act as the opposite of the sex they were born with. 
Once they have the full surgery they are the desired sex except for the internal sexual organs. So is there much of a difference? Or is it just the social construct of what's appropriate and acceptable that makes one question this situation? 

Personally, I think it all comes to how comfortable do you feel with someone. We all get old. Our organs all begin to fail and we are not capable of doing all the things we used to do. But love has a way of lasting through all of this.

So, what do you think?  I'd love to hear your thoughts on this rarely-discussed topic.
Leave a comment in the comment section (this can be done anonymously)

Now to the beautiful article by Janet. 

It Happened to Me: I Told My Boyfriend I Was Born a Boy

This essay originally appeared on

When I was a kid I had a series of dreams that involved Immature. You know, that baby boy band starring Roger from Sister, Sister?

Anyway, my dreams usually involved group member LDB (Little Drummer Boy) singing "Never Lie" to me in the tree that stood in front of my window.

Since then, I've sat across from many men on dates and wondered what their fantasies were. By then mine always involved them really liking me and me playing the distant, mysterious girl they couldn't quite figure out.

Really, it was more about me not getting too close. Because if I got too close, you see, I'd have to tell him my "T."

Oh, I keep forgetting you may not be the T, so you may not know my T or what T is at all.

My T is basically my story, my story being that I'm a young woman who happens to be transgender. Still not getting it?

I was born a girl but in a boy's body, as media headlines tend to scream when telling stories like mine.

Being trans, I've grown up with the understanding that most women are born girls, yet some are born boys. And most men are born boys, yet some are born girls. And if you're ready for this, some people are born girls or boys and choose to identify outside our society's binary system, making them genderqueer.

Regardless, I was born me, and in order to be me, I had to take many steps to affirm my me to myself, my family, and the world around me, and then, once I dealt with my gender change as a teenager, to the men I dated.

And this is where it gets tricky, and for some trans women, even dangerous.

Though many guys I've dated do not and may never know the gender history of the girl they randomly made out with on St. Marks (this is a whole 'nother post!), I have relayed my story to a select few. But there is only one man whom I wanted to tell my story to from the very first night we met.

It was early Easter morning 2009, and I was tipsy from shots that a pair of British soccer players kept bringing me and my girlfriend. We were at some bar on the Lower East Side, and I was twirling on the dance floor.

"This is my song," I remember saying frequently. It was that kind of night.

In the midst of my tipsiness, I felt someone looking at me. You know that feeling when you sense there's a singular focus just on you? That's what it was.

As I turned around, I saw the guy, this handsome, handsome man with skin the color of caramel popcorn and almond-shaped eyes. His beauty, to me, was right out of my mind's own sketch pad.

He was a fantasy come true, and I wanted him to want me.

"Hey," he said as I pushed curls out of my face, serving him my very best angle. "I really want to talk to you, but I gotta pee. Will you wait for me?"

Will I wait for you? Fuck yeah.

I nodded, rushing back over to my girlfriend and the two soccer studs. Quickly powdering my T-zone and applying a coat of lip gloss, I was ready to do my whole mysterious, hot girl routine.

But when he came back over, he threw me: "Take a walk with me."

I found myself out on the cold streets, walking beside this beautiful stranger into a coffee shop on Houston. We had lattes and a cinnamon roll. He told me he was from North Dakota; I told him I was from Hawaii. He told me he took photos and trained dogs for a living; I told him I was an editor for a popular website. He told me he hoped to have horses someday; I told him I wanted to tell stories that matter for a living.

It's the kind of exchange only two people who are willing to fully be seen can share. It was natural and life-shifting.

I could feel the mystery I had so tirelessly built around me fall, until I was just me.

He kissed me on the cheek and put me in a cab, where I received his very first text: "You're a complete pleasure. -Aaron."

In the next month, Aaron and I went on a series of casual dates (the New Museum, a Tribeca Film Festival screening, the opening night of J.J. Abrams' Star Trek), before I found myself on his bed, naked -- figuratively, that is.

"I have something to tell you," I remember saying.

Aaron stood at the foot of his bed, readying himself for disappointment, it seemed to me. Or at least that's what I internalized.

How do I say this? I asked myself.

"OK, let me just say it: I was born a boy."

I didn't look at his face while spouting off the details of my journey through genders as a kid: "I knew I was a girl from my very first thoughts... I began presenting as female from age 12... I took hormones in high school... I flew to Thailand to have surgery at 18."

When I finally stopped talking, I exhaled. I'd finally told my whole story to someone I was falling for. And I was afraid that my biggest fear would come true: Aaron would look at me differently.

And it did come true.

I could no longer just be Aaron's fantasy, a mixed girl with curly hair from Hawaii with a master's degree and a job that "a million girls would kill for." Our fantasies had ended, and now we were just two people bare in front of one another.

"Can I hug you?" Aaron asked.

And it was then that I went into the ugly cry. For the first time in my young life, I was being seen, fully seen, as the totality of my experiences.

Fast-forward a few years, and Aaron is now my guy, the man I order dinner with every night, the one who begrudgingly sits beside me as I watch every Real Housewives franchise (except for Orange County), the one who questions my newfound love of neon-pink OCC lip tars.

Most importantly, he's the one who doesn't want me to be a mystery -- not to him, at least. He wants to know me, to ask me questions about my past, force me to retrace steps that have made me the woman I am today. He's also the one who pushed me to begin fulfilling my dream of writing stories that matter: my own, my forthcoming memoir.

We're real together, and Aaron and the friendship and love affair that we've built is my foundation, a platform that has fortified my own sense of self and has, in the nearly three years since we met on that Lower East Side dance floor, given me the strength to step out of my shadow and come forward as a trans woman, lending my story as one of many narratives on what it means to be a young woman who happened to be born a boy.

Aaron is better than my tweenage fantasies, better than the dreams I had of some boybander singing to me in a tree, better than anything I could've written for my protagonists.

He's better because he's real, because he exists, because he wants more than just the idea of me. He wants me.

Read more from Janet Mock at
Follow Janet Mock on Twitter:

A Girl You Should Date

*Found this great repost from

Reading in the grassy lawn of a castle in Krakow, Poland
I wanted to ask what she was reading but didn't dare interrupt
such a peaceful moment!
A Girl You Should Date

Date a girl who reads. Date a girl who spends her money on books instead of clothes. She has problems with closet space because she has too many books. Date a girl who has a list of books she wants to read, who has had a library card since she was twelve.

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag. She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.
Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.
Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilight series.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

 Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.
Or better yet, date a girl who writes.

– Rosemarie Urquico –

Sunday, December 11, 2011

This video of new Nobel Laureate and Yemeni peace activist Tawakkul Karman brought tears to my eyes. I really hope she is able to succeed and become the next President of Yemen.

She is the youngest recipient at just 32 years old but she's wise beyond her years and just inspiring.

A favorite quote of mine comes to mind.

"Be the change that you want to see"

Getting Published in Support of a Great Cause!

This evening just as I was about to call it a night I got an email with the title "Travel means freedom - the BOOK! you are IN!"

I was blown away.

I've had various friends and family telling me lately and in the past that I'm a great writer and they wish I wrote more. I never really worked at it much. I do love telling a good tale now and then but I rarely take the time to write one down.

Let me rewind for those of you that may have no idea what I'm talking about.

In November there was a contest over at They were trying to get together inspirational travel stories, 111 to be exact, in commemoration of 11/11/11. They were going to put these stories (and photo submissions) into a book, "Travel means Freedom"

I was instantly attracted to the idea and what they believed in (that you should travel with a cause, giving back what you can and spreading good will). So I told the story of my 'Christmas to Remember' in 2009.
It was a great story about how I decided to find a way and give something back for Christmas.

The best thing about this book is that 59% of the profits will go towards Providing Clean Water to communities in developing countries through the organization Charity: Water.
I (and other story contributors) will receive an 80% cut from the book sales which will help fund future travels and causes I support.

So a big thanks to #wegetthere, whoever first told me about the story, and all of the people that encouraged me to write a story, and a special thanks for the last minute support from Jinky for encouraging me to write a second story (despite a fast approaching deadline) and the one I decided to submit.

Christmas is almost here.

If you are stuck on what to give as a gift for Christmas.

Consider pre-ordering (in time for xmas) the Community written book  'Freedom to Travel'
The digital books pack (PDF,ePub,Mobi) will be sold at $19.99, and print also at $19.99. The bundle $29.99. 
This book will be a great gift to those filled with wanderlust or that have a love for traveling.
Inspire them today while helping out these two great non-profit organizations


Donate as a gift with charity water. 
With 3 options on ways you can give the gift of water while dedicating it to that special someone.

If you are feeling extra charitable this Holiday season help contribute to wegetthere's campaign of raising $10,000  by March!  Every little bit counts...whether it's $1, $10, or $100. Help Fund a Clean Water Project in developing nations. 

Early Merry Christmas Everyone

Friday, December 9, 2011

Aliens invading, what do you do?

I just woke up from a dream.

In the dream I was going about my day. I remember seeing an awesome blue skyline in the morning that seemed a bit out of place but since I just had my iphone I didn't think much about taking the photo. Later on in the day as I was riding through the city I found myself looking over the skyline and it was completely filled by this massive UFO of the likes from the movie Independence Day. It was shooting a beam down into the center of the European side of the city. People were stopping in traffic and looking, some were like..I hope that isn't what I think and glad that I was taking pictures because it meant they weren't crazy and seeing things. My first instinct was "how do I contact my family?" And of course, 'omg, the Mayan end of the world theory wasn't lying!'

I then started rushing through what I should do now. My list was:

Get a hold of family.

I knew it would be impossible to get home now, probably for a long time. The least I could do is tell them my plan so they wouldn't worry about me, but what about them? They're in Iowa..flatlands! I would tell them to go towards Colorado as there are hills and caves there.

For myself, my first thought was I need to get back to Georgia. The mountains there could surely shield me from the nuclear holocaust that was sure to follow and I'd have people there that would lend companionship through these tough times. But would they let me across the border? Do I need to get a gun?  Where can I find some non-perishable food?

I thought about Jinky. Man I wish she had stayed in Vietnam! They have so many underground cities from the war. She'd do fine there, but she's back in Manila.

For some reason I didn't have my phone with me, (just my iphone that isn't jailbroken yet) so I knew I'd have a lot of calls waiting for me when I got home. Man how I miss being able to turn on the tv and watch news in English! In University I ALWAYS knew what was happening all around the world. CNN, BBC, Al-Jazeera was always being checked for the latest news and tragedies.

Then my thoughts went to an easier route. I could head to Derinkuyu Underground City in Goreme or Cappadocia valley. The place is perfect for hunkering down. It has a complete underground network that Christians used to hide from invading empires and persecution. It would be perfect if a million people haven't already gotten there.

Then sometime while I was running through these scenarios I woke up.

What a strange dream.

What do you think it meant? What was my mind trying to communicate?

Three Legendary Photographers in One post. Steve McCurry, and Chase Jarvis with Chris Jordan

I'd like to make this blog more interactive and useful for people visiting.

As you have probably figured out, photography is something I'm really passionate about.
I'll be sharing whatever I find interesting or useful for other photographers here on this page
until I get a designated photography blog going.

In this post I'm going to share about two amazing photographers that have really taken photography to the next level during their careers.

First there is Chase Jarvis, who before I was introduced to him by a twitter feed, had no idea who he was.

He's a successful pioneer in the world of photography and cinematography. He started out making short films and of course doing photography. After winning many accolades he was presented the opportunity to test the new HD dSLR, yes he was the Pioneer in using it. Through this his name and opportunities have skyrocketed. He now hosts his own live video production interviewing different artists while doing commercial work as well.

What attracted me to his blog was an interview about making a successful photography portfolio which will be aired soon on his site. I found his video interviewing Chris Jordan (another inspiring photographer) about how he came into the business, switching from Law to Photography. The 1 and a half hour interview is worth the watch. Listening to both of them talk about photography is really inspiring and calms the nerves of those like me who are on the verge of jumping into what feels like the unknown.

To find out more about Chase Jarvis and how he can inspire you to create and lend more meaning to your photography, check out his webpage  or follow him on twitter for instant updates.!/chasejarvis

The second great photographer is WORLD reknowned. Magnum Photographer Steve McCurry has been around for decades and brought some of the most iconic images that many people have seen but may not have realized who it was...for example the Afghan girl which is in exhibition galleries
throughout the world and is one of National Geographic's most famous images. His other images are also just as striking as he has
gone through Southeast Asia, Africa, and Europe.
He recently published a book with 165 of his most
Iconic Photographs. 

But the reason I'm mentioning all of this is because he not only takes photographs but can be a great instructor too. He has recently made a series of 1 minute masterclass videos for free. Come get some tips from the master himself. Steve McCurry's Masterclass videos
If you want to know more about Steve McCurry visit his blog.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Sony World Photography Awards Competitions

I just picked up a new competition on my twitter feed.

Sony is sponsoring a HUGE photo competition for the World Photography Organization.

All competitions are free and you can enter into more than one category.

The Deadline for all of the competitions (except the Student Focus *see below*) is January 4th, 2012

Here are the categories:

Sony World Photography Awards 2012 - Open Competition

Are you an amateur photographer and a keen photography enthusiast, with an eye for capturing that perfect moment? Whatever your photographic passion may be, enter the Open Competition for your chance to win $5,000 and a trip to London to pick up your prize at the Sony World Photography Awards 2012 gala ceremony!

Sony World Photography Awards 2012 - Professional Competition

Are you a serious photographer with a true passion for the job? Do you understand the craft of taking pictures, documenting a story, conceptualising an idea, capturing emotions and evoking a response from those who view the finished product? Submit your best work for the chance to become the next Sony World Photography Awards, Professional Photographer of the Year and win our most coveted prize, the L’Iris d’Or, along with prize money of $25,000.


Sony World Photography Awards 2012 - Youth Award

We are searching for the next generation of talented young photographers in this new competition, open to anyone under the age of 20 (Tate Award is up to 25 years old). Whether you are studying photography in school or college, or just have a passion for taking photographs of your daily life, enter this competition for the chance to become the first ever Sony World Photography Awards, Youth Award Winner.


Sony World Photography Awards 2012 - Moving Image Award

The Moving Image Award calls for work combining still and moving images with sound, drawing on the distinctive strengths of each form. We want entrants to explore how photography can evolve into new forms of visual narratives using audio, music, video, animation and graphics.


Sony World Photography Awards 2012 - 3D Award

If you are experimenting with 3D photography and video, why not enter our first global 3D photography competition! Anyone can enter this dynamic competition and be a part of this image revolution.


Student Focus 2012 Competition

Calling all photography students! Participate in the 2012 Student Focus competition, for your chance to win Sony camera equipment for yourself and your university, as well as a trip to our World Photography Festival in London. The brief this year is to capture a 'fleeting moment'.
Entry Start: 1st June 2011
Entry Close: 16th December 2011

As you can see the awards are great and it's free to enter so give it a shot and display your best work. It's a competition open to those that like to get creative with graphics, professionals, amateurs, AND students.  Get busy and aim for London!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

PHOTO CONTEST "Migration. Personal Experience, Global Phenomenon"

Fresh from hearing that one of my photos was selected out of over 1000 photos that were submitted to be exhibited in Taksim Metro in Istanbul I'm entering another contest my friend Leila in Georgia told me about.

This contest is the first of its kind being organized by Youth Association DRONI and is about Migration in Georgia, particularly dealing with the forced expulsion and mass migration of around 280,000 Georgians from Abkhazia and South Ossetia by Abkhazian Seperatists and the ongoing civil war which started in 1991 when Georgia declared it's independence after the fall of the Soviet Union.

Even though I didn't visit any of the areas of conflict while I was in Georgia I DID have some photos in my archives that I could use for this particular theme. There is still an ongoing conflict today in these regions as recent as 2008 when Russia and Georgia went head to head causing many people to flee yet again.

Here are my two entries:

"Pulled From the Roots"

Many groups of people were forcefully migrated from their homes, there cities, and even their country.
They were pulled from the very roots that they had planted many generations before them.
This image is a representation of the complete removal of a whole people from a society while the other parts of society

remain intact around it, leaving only this bare, naked tree that symbolizes the roots that they were pulled from.

"Old Man's Song"

An old man I met while wandering the country of Georgia.
He sang traditional songs of Turkey and Georgia. He is no longer
able to manipulate the strings so strums the chords with one stubby finger.
Even with the hardship of life this man finds a way to smile through it all.

Monday, December 5, 2011

6 Great Web Services for Promoting Your Work

6 Great Web Services for Promoting Your Work

I just found this great link about different websites besides flickr to display, promote, and sell your photography. I'm wanting to get more serious in this area and begin working for myself but am going in fresh as a baby!

What do you think is the best one? Do you use any of these services?

Black Sea travels on film

I took these photos between March and August of 2011. Beginning in Turkey and finishing in Turkey.

On a side note: I just received news that when one door closes another one may open. I will be receiving a full photography setup to begin shooting and starting the company I'd like to build up. I can't wait! It'll be a much appreciated gift. I was almost speechless when I first heard about it. So expect more photos soon. :) And here are the film photos.

The hills have eyes

Strange things can find you when you wander

On the road
Teacher by trade, hero by night
A cheesy self portrait 
I'm ready to start my journey
smiles take us to the past and lead us to the future
Songs of old follow us to the footsteps of Sumela
Surrounded by the white, frosty beauty of thousands of pines; one can't help but smile
I live here
I'd be rich with the stories I could tell
I'm ready for anything
My city is lopsided, but the water is always hot
It's not every day you follow a paved path into history
Follow me, do not be afraid. It's just down this path
"Sir, there's something hairy going on over here"
Add captionAs I sit here strumming

A local man sings traditional songs in front of a church in Mtskheta
pilgrims come to pay their respects and give thanks as the bulls guard the doors to salvation.

Mtskheta, Georgia
My life is full of lines
My eyes speak volumes that take a lifetime to read
Music plays across borders and lives, it knows not time.
Best Friends

Kiev, Ukraine
A couchsurfer poses
Kiev, Poland

The fence is for the ghosts

Auschwitz-Birkenau, Poland.
A mother and daughter admire the Black Sea.

 Black Sea, Turkey
We will cherish these moments

Black Sea, Turkey
We are but a humble family that lets our father lead the bears away.

Friday, December 2, 2011


I'm feeling lost these days. Uncertain about the present or the future. Before I was always content with my present and the future was something yet to come, never expect, but always look forward to. Now I find myself falling back into myself, escaping from the current reality I'm living. It's not a bad life I'm living, I just feel so unsettled. I know I need to find a new place soon. My job and career is no longer pleasing. It's simply monotonous and the flicker of passion that I showed for so long is losing it's luster. Maybe it's just the school I'm working in by I have a feeling it's not. I was feeling this way a bit before I left Korea as well. So if I start over. Start with something else that I can make a living from. What do I start with? Where do I start. This is a new road...and while I'm now beginning used to traveling these first steps are always the hardest to take. Especially since I have no backup plan, no idea really where or how to proceed. I could go home for a bit but the last time I did I felt like a caged animal and with me unable to pay my loans for the past 6-7 months I'm sure I'm in or will be in default and they will be looking for me. I'm just feeling lost these days. I need to find a way to open my eyes and see the light at the end of the tunnel.. or perhaps close my eyes and really find what that inner passion is and then open my eyes and leap across the barrier..whatever it is. But that passion is eluding me. I want to feel alive again.