Thursday, November 17, 2011

I've had better days

Istanbul has treated me good so far. Sure I haven't completely adjusted or learned the language yet
but I've been able to be comfortable. Found a place before I even arrived. Found a job with great benefits.
Met some really cool people straight away and then again when I took a chance and went on a wild trip for
the holiday instead of staying home and saving money. 

I wouldn't take any of it back

I've felt like the man in this video..jumping, flipping, vaulting through life and taking it all with relative ease.
I may have looked beaten but I never felt beaten, always ready to jump back up and move again, even support a friend. 

But today, well I've had better days.

It reminded me of the song Better days (and the bottom drops out) which I was unable to embed on the blog. Why...cause I've had better days and today the bottom just felt like it was dropping out. It wasn't anything big that happened. It was just all of these small things building up and striking my psyche at once. 

From unruly classes that I used to be able to control and reign in, to complaining teachers that are complaining about the same things that they usually put me through (teaching material that the other was expecting to teach), to printers not being available when I needed them, to issues with different people, and especially to my computer being changed. I'm definately way too connected to this laptop. It's like we weren't detached from birth and with me making the sudden change and needing to reinstall all of the programs today (I didn't have excel installed yet so I couldn't see my class schedule or use powerpoints), I'm sure it had me at my wit's end. 
Then of course it had to be this day that the big boys come in to go over the various 'issues' they've been made privy of over the past few months. With the day I had these issues felt much larger. The first question they asked is if everything is going alright at home because they're really surprised by the complaints they've heard. 

To be honest, these past few weeks I almost wished I was back in a Korean classroom where I could say one or two words..or use one of my class management strategies and it'd work. If it didn't, I could have a co-teacher or a vice principal ready to lay the law down and the students knew it.
Here it is such a different ballgame. They know there is really nothing I can do although at times I've had progress but every day and every class starts with a battle of just trying to make sure they all get their books out but they say they don't want to. A ridiculous problem that should have a quick answer but it's like I have no support and the kids never listen. 

I know I need to find some new strategies...otherwise as the worsts scenario they gave me..I would be out of a job (and unable to find another 'legal' one in Turkey).   Definately not what I needed to hear today. Any other day but today. 

It's days like these that keep you aligned with reality...wake you up from any dream you may be living in. 

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