Random Reflections while procrastinating

After taking an hour nap to let my mind and eyes rest I still find my mind wandering away from my assignment. I know once I get in the groove I'll be able to finish it rather quickly. It's just a profile of one of my students and planning some activities to meet their specific needs.  

But dang my mind is all over the place lately. Definitely not in studying or..sometimes it's almost blank.

Now that I'm no longer working I'm finding myself re-evaluating myself and where I am. I guess it's normal for people to do this right?  To be honest, I look back at my last 8 months in Istanbul and I've had some exciting times but for some reason they seem to be forgotten so easily and I wonder, am I doing anything?
What am I doing with myself?  Am I improving upon my life? Or better yet, am I TRULY Living my life?

For the past 8 months since I took the teaching position at the last school I was at I found myself avoiding going out and pretty much having a daily routine of:

wake up
go to work
finish work
Take bus home
Sit in front of my computer
Go to sleep

On the weekends I avoid going out as well. After the night I lost my cameras I just wasn't motivated to go out. 
Now on occasion I do meet with a friend or I go to a party but even then I would find it hard to enjoy myself fully. Just as often I would avoid it.

The question is why?

I've got so many opportunities and hours each day to do things. I see my friends going out every day and I sit at home convincing myself, "no no  best to stay inside. It's safe. It's comfortable. Nothing unexpected can happen."

But  not too long ago I remember I craved that, it excited me. I'd have a smile on my face all the time. My wits were clear and remarks fast. Easy to laugh and help others laugh.  I hope now that I'm no longer under the stressful workplace environment I had been in, I will be able to go out and experience the sights, sounds, smells..the life of where I call home.

I was having a conversation into the whee hours of this morning with my old Tica friend Keithy. While talking to her I had so many memories that I had long forgotten suddenly rushing back to me. She reminded me of a time when I was truly, but truly happy. I don't think I will ever forget something she said.

"You know Josh, my mom always says 'I don't like Gringos (Americans)....except for Josh.' 'He was natural and had nothing to hide.'"

I was really flattered but it also led me to thinking, what happened to that guy?  That guy that would meet friends and talk for hours about anything under the sun. That guy that was rarely serious. The guy that was not fake...but natural and happy with himself.  I think another big part of my getting out every day and meeting people was that internet wasn't commonplace there. There was one internet cafe in the town and 3 computers at the school. So I would get on facebook or my email for about one hour a day. All the rest of the time I'd be walking around with friends, going to the beach, and eventually traveling outside of Puntarenas when I lost my fear of traveling on public transport alone. (silly isn't it...but I had never used public transport back home except to go to class on campus).

Of course That was 4 years past and counting when I was like this. In that culture I found it so easy to intermix and be accepted by the Ticos. I had no agenda but to experience life and enjoy it.  I would always be writing back to my mother telling her how I felt like I found 'home' and how great it felt to finally feel like I fit in. I also would write to her while in South Korea and tell her how much I miss Costa Rica where I could be myself and just be free. No hiding feelings or having to follow some way of living.


I'm thinking back on some of my highlights while in Istanbul this time around. We all know 2011 was an AMAZING time. It was almost a complete year of being random and meditating and...awesomeness.
I remember 2 people especially that really inspired me here in Istanbul. They aren't the only ones mind you but they really stand out to me at the moment.

Rowan of www.roligion.com

This guy is currently on an amazing journey crisscrossing the world and often times putting life, limb, and liberty in danger for what?  For life I think. He'll never be able to say that he doesn't live the way he chooses. He takes challenges head on no matter how daunting they may seem.
But personally, he helped make possible something that was so scary yet so amazing.
He was the organizer of the No Pants Subway Ride started by improv everywhere.
He took the challenge of organizing the first one in Istanbul and it was craazzy to be honest.
But really it was so simple (at least for a Western mind). We didn't do anything much but we did challenge some assumptions and norms of Turkey in an innocent, fun way.  And just doing that little thing, wow, I felt so alive! Of course afterwards I kept a very low profile after for fear of the undercover police that had been videotaping and photographing us that day. But during that time, wow I felt alive. It would have been amazing to meet him while I was traveling the year before but who knows perhaps I can tag along in another one of his adventures.

Then before Rowan there was Inna.
Inna was a couchsurfer of mine while I was living in Uskudar. I wasn't feeling too great at the time. The job and the conservative environment were really wearing me down. She was somebody that was so 'real'   On  the inside and out. We could talk about anything and talk about it for a long time. While she was surfing with me it was an unspoken rule it seemed to just be natural. I explored some new parts of Istanbul with her and we chatted about our similar experiences back in the Philippines. Dreamed up future adventures such as going to Burning Man together and traveling. We encouraged each other to submit our stories for a book project and both of us shared in having our stories accepted. It was so exciting.  She gave me the feeling, despite being depressed, of being able to be myself. Achieving things I didn't think possible. To not care about what other people think or do but to just do what you want and love to do.

So....My question/challenge for my readers is.  Who has inspired you in the past year? Who helped you rise up to a challenge and allowed you to 'be yourself' and shed the clothes that society forces us to wear in order to fit in?

And even better. 

Who have you inspired lately?

2011: A Look Back

First of all I want to say Happy New Years to all of you.
Thank you for following my blog. I'm glad to have you and feel humbled by the viewership that's interested in my life and what I have to share.

This year can easily be called the Year of Change.

I started the year out finishing my chapter of life in Korea.
I was able to go back to the Philippines one more time before leaving the eastern hemisphere and enjoyed an amazing time in Palawan with Jinky. We've known each other since 2009 when I first visited the Philippines and have had a strong bond ever since.

Then a large part of the year was spent traveling by foot around the Black Sea. I was searching for myself on this trip. Trying to get over my Zahir. If you don't know what that is then read Paulo Coehlo's book Zahir.

I was finally able to find some peace and after 7 months of traveling through Turkey, Georgia, Ukraine, Poland, Czech Republic, Germany, Romania, and Bulgaria I finally found myself back in Istanbul and working as a teacher.

I had a bit of culture shock at this current job. It's a very conservative atmosphere here compared to the rest of Istanbul but I've managed and after a few bumps things are really looking up.

Now in the last few months my life has been increasingly better. Things are just falling into place for me.
I entered a few photography contests and had a photo selected to be exhibited at Taksim Metro for the start of 2012! On top of that, I decided to submit a story for a book that was looking for 111 meaningful travel stories and mine was selected to be published along with some photos to accompany the story.

Finally, I moved to the European side of Istanbul and my life attitude and life have seemingly took a 180. I was living on the Asian side and I was really just closing in on myself and not feeling the greatest. But in this new place here in Besiktas I feel so much more alive. I'm meeting people every day. I can see the city from a boat every morning as I sail across the Bosphorus to go to my job. Water.  It really does sustain life..and mentality :)

So this year I've had writing published, photos exhibited, a new job, a new look on life, and above all I'm feeling more free than ever.  I'm not longer allowing my student loans or many of life's pressures to pull me down. Of course sometimes I'm not always thankful and can be pessimistic but I'm glad I've got friends to help steer me towards the light and remind me of all that's great in this world and my life. Show me that I CAN make a difference and I AM making a difference.

I wonder what 2012 will bring?

Some things I have planned already are:

Publish a photography book
Make a DIY photo studio in my room.
Develop my photography to a higher quality through Joshua Sterrett Photography
Develop and start my own photography page.
Work on writing a book about my travels
See Spain
Enjoy life, all of it, even the little moments.
Make new friendships and relationships that last a lifetime.
Continue learning more about myself and further develop my inner self.

How about you? Do you have any goals or wishes for 2012?  How was your past year!  A year of change or a year of the same?

Unlocking my Personality

Unlocking the Mind

I found this Personality profile saved from my recovered old harddrive I used during High school and university. I"m guessing I took the test at the University of Iowa Career Center in 2007 or 2008. Reading through it again it's a bit inspiring; awe inspiring at how accurate of a description it came out with from tests I took. What kind of job would best suit this personality type? I"m guessing some kind of mid-level management as I like to have recognition of my work or as I've often thought about doing, NGO work. What parts of this really stand true for YOU? Which sections do you think hit the mark about me or that you find surprising about me?


Summary

Joshua, your responses indicate that you are an exciting, enthusiastic, and persuasive person. You influence people and accomplish goals, assisted by your ability to express empathy and emotion. Dealing with details and regulations does not appeal to you. Big ventures, charged with opportunity, activate your ambitions. There are times when you prefer to be a one-person committee. You need to feel that you are liked, in order to be fully effective. ________________________________________________________________________________ Communication Style Joshua, you have strong social skills and are excellent at quickly establishing rapport. You enjoy talking to people and do so with enthusiasm and spontaneity. Your style of fast, lively expression is both engaging and effective. You are a fluent speaker who expresses thoughts quickly, optimistically, and persuasively. Also, Joshua, you respond to people with flexibility and open-mindedness. You relay a tone that is uninhibited, creative, and, at times, quite independent. You enjoy talking and can put people at ease. You use a fun, indirect style of communication. You are people-oriented and can easily relate with another person's point of view. Joshua, you are a natural team player. You readily delegate authority, and you embrace training. You do not care to be involved with too many technical details. You let others set game plans, priorities and time frames. You function well when you are allowed a lot of people-interaction. You would rather talk about details than write them down. You enjoy being the focus of attention. __________________________________________________________________________________ Leadership Style: Persuasive You perform your leadership role by using your exceptional ability to interpret your people's actions and dialogue, and then by persuading them to do things your way. You apply yourself to building team spirit and then may proceed to rely upon team decisions. You like to develop your subordinates, and you delegate both authority and details. You actively promote change and like to find new ways of accomplishing goals. __________________________________________________________________________________ Conscientiousness You balance solid, goal-oriented achievement and a relaxed approach to life. You may fluctuate between periods of highly motivated, achievement-oriented activity and periods of more easy-going behavior. Alternatively, you may demonstrate a sustained, moderate level of effort toward your goals. While you may not demonstrate an intense desire for achievement for its own sake, you are able to summon a sense of purposefulness and self-discipline when needed. The level of your positive motivation toward achievement may depend on the task or situation. ___________________________________________________________________________________ Motivation Motivation Needs: Joshua, you tend to be motivated by a great deal of interaction with people, and by identifying with a prestigious organization with a good public image. You desire opportunities to make more money for yourself, or to improve your status within the organization. You are motivated by praise, public recognition, and by acceptance. You are most productive when working as a team player, and when you are liked by others. You tend to be demotivated if your territory or opportunity is reduced in size, or if you are not allowed a significant amount of people-interaction or teamwork. Insufficient recognition from management and/or peers can also affect your motivation. You can be demotivated by a perception of not being personally liked, and by not being invited to meetings with peers.